[ he won't say aloud how he feels about having failed, because lili is right. even if he found nothing, he can tell them where the murderers didn't go. that's better than nothing.
but her question makes his frown deepen, and his eyes narrow as he stares at her. ]
Yes. Why?
[ does she think she was corrupted...? none of the others seemed to have known, unless they were just that good at hiding it. ]
... every week so far, I could say with confidence I'd have no reason to hurt those people. I would never attack young girls, or the defenseless.
But I hated Hisoka.
[which she did tell kara before, at least. she frowns]
Someone told me, that if you're corrupted... it makes you act out on the already horrid parts of your personality. I already checked and I don't have any new injuries or implications that it could've been me...
But if, for whatever reason, it does reveal to be me...
[she just wants to make sure that there would be no hesitation in getting rid of her the same as anyone else]
[lili only provides light touches to the people that she's comfortable with - and he seemed rather hesitant in that moment
though now she frowns as she looks up at him]
How? By being in more than one place at a time? You made educated guesses about where someone might be harmed, and checked the houses in case you could see anyone coming and going.
I know it's frustrating when people still got hurt... but it's not as though you can be expected to know the future.
If there's a way to split whatever your next task is, so that I can help with it - let me know.
And for tomorrow... if we know that what was done wasn't in the gateway, and nothing odd happened in the houses... then we don't have to waste time there.
[ he should do that tonight... but honestly, he doesn't want to. not yet. after the trial, maybe. ]
There are some places in the gateway I didn't have time to check, but I do know where they weren't. Judging from that vision, I think we should start in the elemental areas.
...For what it's worth, I don't think you killed him.
Even if that was his power, I don't think he'd use it that way - not on himself. He liked to fight, but not enough to sabotage himself like that.
[ ...that said. ]
There's no guarantee we'll even find who it was. He wasn't well-liked. I wouldn't be surprised if the others chose to ignore his death, like they did with that boy a few weeks ago.
... I want to find answers - since we didn't know anything about what happened to Tokidoki, we had no way to confirm if it was at all similar to what happened to Kazuaki last week. We don't have any clue how many people are out there who have killed... if it's just two, or even three.
[she shakes her head]
I hated that man, but if no one takes ownership over what happened to him... we ought to at least try.
[ moreso now that lili admits that it could have been her. if ookurikara were in her position, he would want to know, if for no reason other than to stop the corruption from festering.
he deliberately avoids looking at her when he continues ]
I could have prevented both of them, if I hadn't chosen the wrong places. I want to make it right, as much as I can.
...And if there are more uncorrupted killers among us, I want to find them, and stop them.
[ . . . she sighs, because it's not like she can entirely disagree with how he feels. she knows that she would share a lot of similar sentiments if she was in his position.
[ he refuses at first, stubbornly keeping his eyes focused on the floor. it takes a little longer before he finally, reluctantly, turns back to meet lili's eyes, and his expression clearly saying that he doesn't want any kind of lecture as he waits for her to speak. ]
[there's a moment where she pauses frowning. it's clear that she finds it difficult to just let him stew in his own failure, but even so it's not like she doesn't understand.]
... I've been there. Where you have all the power and capability that others don't, to help others, but things don't go right. The timing is off, other people are hard to predict, and people still end up getting hurt. I... hated it. I imagine you do too.
[even now, she hates her own powerlessness. but it's why she pauses]
I'm not going to ask you to listen to me and move on. Sometimes things like that need to be felt.
But the fact that you're as frustrated as you are - it's a sign that you're a good person, and things won't end here.
I trust that you'll take that frustration and turn it into productivity tomorrow.
[ he sounds... annoyed, by lili's speech or the feeling of powerlessness, even kara isn't entirely sure. regardless, he doesn't intend to sit around when he has a chance to find the ones who eluded him last night - especially if they weren't even corrupted. ]
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unfriendliest) wrote2019-06-03 05:01 pm
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but her question makes his frown deepen, and his eyes narrow as he stares at her. ]
Yes. Why?
[ does she think she was corrupted...? none of the others seemed to have known, unless they were just that good at hiding it. ]
no subject
But I hated Hisoka.
[which she did tell kara before, at least. she frowns]
Someone told me, that if you're corrupted... it makes you act out on the already horrid parts of your personality. I already checked and I don't have any new injuries or implications that it could've been me...
But if, for whatever reason, it does reveal to be me...
[she just wants to make sure that there would be no hesitation in getting rid of her the same as anyone else]
no subject
[ his hand rests on the hilt of the new sword at his side, eyes averted. ]
And even if we didn't, we have to get rid of the corruption somehow. If that means killing you, then that's what we'll have to do.
[ even if that's the last thing he wants. ]
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[she looks up at him then - looking a little confused. is he more nervous about her death than she is...
and she'll hesitate for a second before reach out and letting her fingertips fall on top of his hand lightly]
Thank you - for all you've done so far.
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unsatisfied, he shares his head. ]
I should have been able to do more. That was the point, and I still couldn't do anything.
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though now she frowns as she looks up at him]
How? By being in more than one place at a time? You made educated guesses about where someone might be harmed, and checked the houses in case you could see anyone coming and going.
I know it's frustrating when people still got hurt... but it's not as though you can be expected to know the future.
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I know.
[ but that doesn't make it any easier to swallow. ookurikara hates feeling helpless. ]
...I'm going to try again. As soon as I can.
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If there's a way to split whatever your next task is, so that I can help with it - let me know.
And for tomorrow... if we know that what was done wasn't in the gateway, and nothing odd happened in the houses... then we don't have to waste time there.
no subject
[ he should do that tonight... but honestly, he doesn't want to. not yet. after the trial, maybe. ]
There are some places in the gateway I didn't have time to check, but I do know where they weren't. Judging from that vision, I think we should start in the elemental areas.
...For what it's worth, I don't think you killed him.
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[she'll clarify that first]
But I wouldn't act violently unless I was attacked first or corrupted...
[she shakes her head]
The vines in the vision might've been from him... he was of the Earth element anyway.
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[ ...that said. ]
There's no guarantee we'll even find who it was. He wasn't well-liked. I wouldn't be surprised if the others chose to ignore his death, like they did with that boy a few weeks ago.
no subject
[she shakes her head]
I hated that man, but if no one takes ownership over what happened to him... we ought to at least try.
no subject
[ moreso now that lili admits that it could have been her. if ookurikara were in her position, he would want to know, if for no reason other than to stop the corruption from festering.
he deliberately avoids looking at her when he continues ]
I could have prevented both of them, if I hadn't chosen the wrong places. I want to make it right, as much as I can.
...And if there are more uncorrupted killers among us, I want to find them, and stop them.
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but even still.]
... Ookurikara, look at me.
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... I've been there. Where you have all the power and capability that others don't, to help others, but things don't go right. The timing is off, other people are hard to predict, and people still end up getting hurt. I... hated it. I imagine you do too.
[even now, she hates her own powerlessness. but it's why she pauses]
I'm not going to ask you to listen to me and move on. Sometimes things like that need to be felt.
But the fact that you're as frustrated as you are - it's a sign that you're a good person, and things won't end here.
I trust that you'll take that frustration and turn it into productivity tomorrow.
no subject
[ he sounds... annoyed, by lili's speech or the feeling of powerlessness, even kara isn't entirely sure. regardless, he doesn't intend to sit around when he has a chance to find the ones who eluded him last night - especially if they weren't even corrupted. ]
At least until I can talk to Lune again.